by Phil Tignino
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the femininity of our women is downspiraling. The drunken swivel of the neck at any of our fine watering holes or house parties lends credence to this uncomfortable observation. When a girl knows what a ‘4 Loko’ is, my stomach churns with the knowledge that she enthusiastically embraces blackouts and the first yokel to say, "Leh me get at dat," on a weekly basis. I might let her pursue me for a one-night stand or two. But anything more than that? I don't think so.
If a girl recounts her escapades of inebriation outside her immediate circle of girlfriends she automatically lowers her feminine value. It’s alright to get drunk on occasion. Go out, for sure. Have a great time. But honestly, a so-called "woman" can't be properly categorized as such when she takes on the sloppy-drunk characteristics of her testosterone-drenched surroundings. When thirty packs are consumed on a regular basis by a leggy blonde or when boisterous whoops from the beer pong table escape from a petite, easy-to-look-at brunette - hang your heads in shame, future leaders of the world. They are not girlfriend material. They are pump-and-dumps to be disdained. Never muddle the two.
Let the feminists and egalitarians shriek, "B-b-but men do it too! Men get more drunk, more often than girls. What about them?" Good point. But something the Left tends to avoid is the reality of life. There is a innate unfairness when it comes to expectations of the sexes and their daily interactions. A man could get blitzed every night of the week and still maintain the masculine appeal women find attractive in a mate. Men only lose value when they cross that fuzzy line between feminine and masculine habits and acts. Any chump aware of the tendencies of a party girl knows that her primitive hindbrain will put her body in your arms if you can press the right buttons. Tenfold times more so when alcohol is involved.
So keep those golden girls with the least impurities and indescretions in the back of your mind, under "girlfriend potential". They’re not the ones standing outside the bar at midnight buzzing to get in. Hold onto them, they’re literal gold. And you know that the value of gold skyrockets as the market gets saturated with dirty, used greenbacks. Same with girls. When the food supplies run low and times get tough like in Western days of old, don't be afraid to make an investment you won't regret - because golden girls last forever.
Love the article its so true, the good girls are so hard to find :(.
ReplyDelete"If a girl recounts her escapades of inebriation outside her immediate circle of girlfriends she automatically lowers her feminine value"
ReplyDeleteWhat is her feminine value? is it her perception by men? is a woman's value really defined by her desirability to men?
As a woman that likes to drink and set the curve in my law school classes, how men perceive my femininity is moot. If I based all my decisions on how it reflects upon my desirability as a wife I probably wouldn't want to get better grades then men in my class, or get the jobs ahead of men in my class. Men are threatened by successful women, so should women also be concerned about not getting too successful?
Part of what gender equality means is that women don't have to continue having the primary goal of their lives be making themselves desirable to a husband.
I'm me, I'm a woman, I drink, I'm successful, and I care about my reputation only in regard to my character, not my desirability. I would be doing myself a disservice if I based my decisions on what men think of me.
its highly offensive to say that unlike men, a women's value is determined not by her achievements or actual worth, but her perception.
Individuals should be judged on the merits.
That being said if this is just about not wanting to date a party girl, say that, but it is chauvinistic to say that things women do that men perceive as "unfeminine" lower their feminine value.
"What is her feminine value? is it her perception by men? is a woman's value really defined by her desirability to men?
ReplyDeleteAs a woman that likes to drink and set the curve in my law school classes, how men perceive my femininity is moot. If I based all my decisions on how it reflects upon my desirability as a wife I probably wouldn't want to get better grades then men in my class, or get the jobs ahead of men in my class. Men are threatened by successful women, so should women also be concerned about not getting too successful?
Part of what gender equality means is that women don't have to continue having the primary goal of their lives be making themselves desirable to a husband.
I'm me, I'm a woman, I drink, I'm successful, and I care about my reputation only in regard to my character, not my desirability. I would be doing myself a disservice if I based my decisions on what men think of me."
Men aren't threatened by you. They're put off by you. Guys don't want to bed women acting like men in a primarily male dominated occupation -- because you guessed it, the traits necessary to being a really good lawyer demands mostly XY stuffzzzzzzzz.
And Phil thats fine, I have unrealistic expectations for what I want in a partner and most men can't keep up with me. True.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your response though because you confirmed everything I thought your article was getting at. Your article equates a woman's value with her perception by men as to her ability to be a good wife... very circa 1920s.
"its highly offensive to say that unlike men, a women's value is determined not by her achievements or actual worth, but her perception.
ReplyDeleteIndividuals should be judged on the merits."
Their merits...as perceived by others. All judgment is based on subjective perception, ultimately. Your undoubtedly prodigious academic and legal achievements have no greater intrinsic worth than anything else. You are being "judged on the merits;" you just don't like the lines along which they are judged. Which would bring us back to the point about egalitarianism, namely the extent of its juvenile detachment from reality. Only a child kicks and screams in indignation at a world that isn't "fair." Grow up, everybody.
"I appreciate your response though because you confirmed everything I thought your article was getting at. Your article equates a woman's value with her perception by men as to her ability to be a good wife... very circa 1920s."
Everybody's worth is in large part equated to their desirability to the opposite sex. The difference is that while degrees and high powered jobs enhance this value in men, they really do not in women.
Mark,
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite sure I get what you're saying, or rather, I'm don't quite get how what you are saying is anything different than what Phil is saying.
I think my point, which has been only reaffirmed,it is true that people make judgments based on subjective preferences of what they find desirable in a partner, but what is it about a woman's success that makes her less desirable?
It has nothing to do with the merits, it is purely a challenge to what has traditionally been seen as a man's role. It is precisely that these successful women deviate from the traditionally weak helpless woman that need men to take care of them that makes men uncomfortable.
I am in agreement that life isn't fair, but I guess I was shocked to read seemingly rational males continuing to justify the illogical position that women who don't need men are less desirable.
Of course they are to men that need women to need them. So I am not denying that men hold this belief, my discomfort is in the current validation or approval of this position.
If you have, or one day have a daughter, and she told you that she wanted to become an attorney, would you tell her that she might want to reconsider because men wouldn't find her as desirable a partner? Or that if she did, she shouldn't try to do really well so as not to put men off?
I suppose my problem was that I was told early on that I could be whatever I wanted to be and that I would find someone who loves me for me not for my conformance with an outdated gender role.
Believe me as a young woman who doesn't fit the mold of what it means to be an attorney I am definitely very in touch with reality, I just don't have to accept these negative views as legitimate, regardless of whether they are sincerely felt beliefs.
You seem to be making the endemic assumption that these preferences and views are merely socially constructed mores that can be discarded by a sufficiently enlightened society. The fact is that men will never find the career achievements of women attractive (mind, it's not necessarily unattractive in itself either, but where there's smoke, there's fire), no matter how much "education" or browbeating they receive. The reverse, on the other hand, is not true. To brand this as not "legitimate" is no more useful than railing against any other immutable aspect of human nature.
ReplyDeleteIts gender roles. As they become less definite so will the adverse reaction.
ReplyDeleteI respect your position and where you come from, and I don't fault you for rationalizing chauvinistic attitudes. Its engrained in our society.
Gender roles are ingrained in our society because they're ingrained in our natures. The illuminating march of science will drive the cult of the blank slate into the annals of history as it inexorably retakes the ground lost to it by leftist dogma, but until that time it remains a tragedy that so many people will continue to be duped by the allure of its lies.
ReplyDeleteIf you think I relish all the unfortunate truths about human differences, I can only say you're mistaken. But by denying them, we'll all suffer more in the end.
Drinking and having a party is entirely separate from success as a law student or otherwise. A person can be successful and set the curve in law school while also partying every weekend. A person can also be equally successful in law school without partying every weekend. Those two are not tied together in any way, shape, or form. A woman can be successful and respectable and drink or choose not to drink. It has nothing to do with her success as a lawyer. Do not tie them together. Drinking is a personal choice independent from success in any other forum.
ReplyDeleteOh most definitely. I apologize if you thought I was saying that drinking ties in with one's success.
ReplyDeleteI was merely using the success aspect to rebut the proposition that drinking per se reduces a woman's feminine value.
I'm not advocating partying, and I also don't want a partner who is trying to get black out drunk every weekend, but that ties into what one subjectively wants, it has no bearing on one's masculine or feminine value.
I'm purely against the assumption that women who do not fit traditional roles have a reduced feminine value.
Feminine value, like any value, is particular to the man who is looking i.e. the male gaze. In one man's eye, that might diminish one woman's relative feminine value. Similarly, as you pointed out, seeing a man getting wasted every weekend is certainly going to diminish his masculine value in my feminine eye. His is going to indicate a lot of things to me including potentially weakness in the traditional protector role. With men, as women, seeing those men at parties slamming shots can also tarnish them in the eyes of the exact women they seek to idolize. It is so particular to the individual and how they evaluate the value that it is impossible to generalize.
ReplyDeleteIt's impossible to generalize what's attractive? Really? That's your position?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. If I see a guy slamming beers back in a bar, I personally may consider much less of a desirable partner. I would take a guy who drinks one or two drinks once or twice a month any day over a guy who parties every weekend. To clarify, it has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. It has to do with individual preferences. I find a party guy entirely distasteful. I disagree with all of the posters, including the other anonymous poster. I particularly disagree with this:
ReplyDelete"A man could get blitzed every night of the week and still maintain the masculine appeal women find attractive in a mate. Men only lose value when they cross that fuzzy line between feminine and masculine habits and acts."
Drinking may be linked to desirability, but not because it is a "masculine" or "feminine" thing to do. It is because the way a person drinks can be linked to a lot of other traits in the eye of the beholder. A girl who parties might come across as trashy and irresponsible. It might raise issues of whether she takes advantage of her own intoxication to let loose sexually. Another girl might not raise those same concerns while drinking. Just as a male can lose his desirability in the eyes of a female. The "golden girls with the least impurities and indescretions" this post idealizes don't want a party guy. They want a guy who matches them in their choices and values and they may include not getting wasted. Drinking cannot be lumped into generalities of femininity or masculinity. A girl who has fun, gets out and drinks may be looking for a guy who enjoys doing that as well. A girl who drinks on occasion and in moderation will likely do the same. Women see men drink too, and you better believe they see the "dirty, used greenbacks" on the market, and can also evaluate the gold found in some men. You can't possible imagine that a guy who parties and enjoys the "pump and dumps" is going to pick up a "golden girl." You praise them for their values - those same values prevent them from wanting to shackle up with a party guy.
I'm hardly surprised of course that you'd outwardly espouse an egalitarian outlook. You may even believe it. What the subconscious part of your brain actually compels you to do is something else entirely.
ReplyDeleteTo be quite blunt, what you say you're attracted to is pretty irrelevant. Nobody's ever succeeded by taking that at face value. Just ask "nice guys." ;)
I have asked nice guys. They, for some crazy, out there reason, prefer nice girls. If you are going to take someone seriously, you want to find someone you are not embarrassed to take home to meet your parents. I don't want to be embarrassed by the unprofessional party pictures up on some guy's facebook. I don't want to wonder what he is doing while trashed at a party somewhere. I want to have confidence in his judgment, including when he drinks.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I found my husband that way. He is certainly a nice guy. He values the fact that I don't party every weekend, and I value that in him. I am not sure why you think that any reasonable woman would ignore the identical behavior in men. If you party like the "party girls" in this blog, you will find a hard time attracting a "golden girl."
And I agree - what one person is attracted to is irrelevant. That is because those characteristics are what draw two individuals together.
And I agree with the anonymous law student - "people make judgments based on subjective preferences of what they find desirable in a partner."
I just disagree that how you drink alcohol is tied to your femininity or desirability. Or that any reasonable woman would ignore the fact that a man is partying constantly. I'm just keeping it real - woman aren't dumb or blind. They can see what a guy does and evaluate his attractiveness based on his actions. All the success, money and masculinity in the world won't get you a golden girl. That is the whole reason why they are more valuable.
Anonymous 2,
ReplyDelete"All the success, money and masculinity in the world won't get you a golden girl."
In the land of infinite pizzas and blowjobs maybe not, but in real life those things get you a long way with the ladies, unless of course you want to swoop on girls with liberal arts degrees.
I get the feeling you've been rejected by a lot of hot party girls. This is a good way to rationalize the fact that you're clearly not getting any. You definitely just aren't into them. ;)
ReplyDeletePumped and Dumped? Clearly a GIRL messed up your life so now your talking trash? Its alright girls, a BOY wrote this and we all know about the brain span of a BOY. Retarded and a bit sad, for you that is! Good luck getting any after this
ReplyDeleteHonestly, as one of those "good girls with 'girlfriend potential,'" I and most of my fellow 'girlfriend potential' women want nothing to do with men who view any woman as a "pump-and-dump girl." Your arrogance and obviously bruised ego and limp cock offend me.
ReplyDeletePhew! Good thing I'm a lesbian and don't have to worry about what men think of me!
ReplyDelete